in conversation with the ------ to be named later, he said today that "it sounds like you just need time to get your head 'round it a bit." he isn't wrong.
work frustrates me. i'm walking a fine line there, because i have not told them everything; just what they need to know for the moment. certainly my decision, but the consequence there is that as a 'quid pro quo' for the help i will need later - i got asked to help someone else now.
i truly do NOT have a problem with that. what i have a problem with is a mobility issue. i can't walk to where i need to walk in the time frame necessary to do this. to hopefully deal with this, i have emailed the relevant persons and said, "because of my own currently health issues, i can't possibly walk that far in that amount of time..." so i need x to be moved to y.
it is not an unreasonable request; it just galls me that i have to make it at all. in my mind, i shouldn't need that kind of accommodation. it's the kind of thing where i don't know who to yell at, or who to apologize to.
if you saw me on the street, you would not suspect that i am sick. the people i see everyday at work are beginning to realize there's a problem, and i am hoping to God that it's not the problem i think it might be.
i have come to a strange pass when i hope that "just major surgery" will deal with the problem, and it will be done. trouble seems to lurk so close that i find it hard not to borrow it.
how strange is it that i am wondering if i need to guard my words when no one knows who i am? the whole point of this (to remind myself, because saying it will hopefully help) is that saying it should help remove some of the threat. in my head, if nowhere else.
to deal with the extended work situation, i will: make it as easy as i can on myself while still getting the things i need to do accomplished. and take a nap in my new favorite chair when i need it.
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